A Look Back

Hello to my little blog, which I've so grossly neglected over the past few months. The eve of my ninth anniversary seems a very appropriate time to delve in again because looking back on the years with my husband always stirs feelings of pride and strength that have carried me through times of both difficulty and joy. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I think about the two of us working so hard to build our family, a job that began with us freaking out on my 26th birthday as we stared at a pregnancy test. We had only been married for six months, and we were simultaneously excited and terrified.

When we saw a positive the second time, I was excited, and Jason was terrified. I remember watching him in amusement as he tore through the instructions to verify the results. We were aiming for two kids 18 months apart, so I think the 15 month age difference we were facing seemed a bit daunting for him.

The third go-round was a complete surprise--not mapped out like the first two. I flung the positive test at my husband and subsequently flung myself onto the couch and burst into tears. Ugh. Nine more months of grouchiness, hormones, and sore boobs after only a four-month reprieve. Jason was calm and collected, which was great considering I continued to cry for five months.

Our three boys are incredible and worth every day of nausea, every grumpy exchange between two exhausted parents, and every agonizing hour of labor. Having the three of them so close together has provided us with a built-in adventure. We're generally ready for anything, and most of the time, we try to be present enough to laugh and eye roll in all the right places. One of the early best parts of having three boys in three years was enduring everyone's awed stares when I went anywhere, usually pushing a double stroller with two toddlers and carrying an infant in the baby Bjorn.

Today the best parts are being unfazed by chaos and having ready-to-go play dates in our own home. Adding our daughter to the mix caused some apprehension, but she has proven to be just the right mix of spark and sweetness to wrap her three brothers around her cute little fingers. She's given Jason adoration the boys reserved for me, and she's given me quadruple the love. Each child is so different, and learning to appreciate and anticipate their individuality keeps me on my toes.

 Through it all Jason and I have faced every happy time, content time, and dark time together. Sometimes we have done so harmoniously, and sometimes we have failed epically in providing a peaceful, conflict free environment for the kids. I've never worried that either of us is going anywhere, though, and I've never worried that trials don't lead to a better understanding of each other and our marriage. He's my hot tamale attorney; a fantastic dad; a driven worker; an unfailing supporter in my endeavors; a quiet enigma of wit, intellect, and inner beauty.

He's my best friend and the person God intended to stand beside me. I'll never doubt his capacity to impact the world around him in the kind, unassuming way he has, and I'll never stop feeling completely crazy about him. We're nine years into our legacy of love, and all I can think about is how rich my life is because I share it with him. Happy anniversary to my husband. I love you!