Bathtime

The two hours between 7:00 and 9:00 p.m. are the most chaotic, ear-splitting, splishy-splashy 120 minutes of our day. Only one of our kids is really old enough to bathe himself, and by the time you put him back in the tub to wash the very important parts he forgot to wash, you may as well have thrown all three boys into the bathtub together. At some point in the evening, there is guaranteed to be a naked Jones boy streaking through the house to avoid actually setting foot in the water. I've watched in horror as they streak with company here, and I've hung my head in shame when they streak at our parents' house during visits to Carrollton. Our little Scout adds a new dimension to the stress because she now requires a bath each night to scrub table food out of her hair, ears, and nostrils.

Tonight of course the level of excitement was not disappointing. Lawson and Hudson drew the short straw and had to climb in first. The story behind said short straw involves a wrestling match between the two of them that overturned two baskets of clean laundry and the fact that Camden was already engaged in a serious discussion with Daddy on why punching in the private parts is a bad idea (ouch for Daddy).

Lawson was cleaned, lifted out, and toweled off within five minutes, all the while kicking and screaming he didn't have enough time to play. However, the highlight of the night came after Camden climbed in and tried to show Hudson how to blow bubbles in the bathwater--despite our repeated explanations of how disgusting dirty bathwater is. Hudson listened intently for all of four seconds before proudly declaring "Hey Camden, I farted!" Needless to say, out came both children before Camden managed to inhale any poot particles.

Because the boys are not fans of water, shampoo, soap, or cleaning agent of any kind, the shrieking once bathing begins is deafening. I'm also certain it's enough to stir serious concern from the neighbors. I half-expect DFACS to show up at the door one day to discover just what all the commotion is. I guess if that happens the best I will be able to offer them is a complimentary pair of earplugs and a poncho so that they can take in all the glory of our evening routine.