Tonight I'm supposed to have a hot date with my husband. We actually get to attend South magazine's five year anniversary party, which is a black tie gala. So I get to dress up and look and smell like a girl rather than a hot-mess in yoga pants who hasn't showered in two days. But there's a catch. My date has a bug up his butt to go on an "adventure" today. He is an adorable bundle of excitement as he downloads maps and attempts to psych the kids up for quality time as a family.
In theory, his plan sounds really fun. We'll load up the kids and the bikes and take the North Island Bike Trail around Tybee. However, this is what reality sounds like in this very moment in the Jones household.
Lawson refuses to stop playing lego.com on the computer. Scout is finally asleep after literally throwing herself on the floor because she was frustrated with me. Hudson ran from me when I tried to get him dressed and screamed that he wants to play in the backyard.
"I NEVER GET TO PLAY IN THE BACKYARD!" were his exact words. This, of course, is an outright lie.
Camden is in his room crying to Jason that he doesn't want to ride his bike.
"I HATE RIDING MY BIKE!" are his exact words. This, too, is an outright lie.
Thanks to all the yelling, Scout is now awake, so allow me to wrap up this little glimpse into our daily regimen of joy. I will update you later as to whether or not I actually got to shave my legs, paint my toenails, wash my hair, and otherwise take the steps to attend this event clean and collected, or if we peeled in on two wheels to make it on time with my dress wrinkled and my hair full of baby powder to conceal the fact that it's still dirty.
Here's hoping all of you are willing to fight the protests of your children and risk your wife's personal hygiene in order to stage a family adventure the way my husband is.
P.S. As I hit the "Publish Post" button, the kids have coerced their daddy into playing lego.com with them. Sucker.