Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Boys, Barf, Boogers, Baby, and Bronchitis

First of all I want to give a shout-out to my quick witted friend Barb for inspiring this catchy blog title. She clearly has mad alliteration skills (I mean skillz) and a keen insight into life in the Jones household. It has been four days since my last blog, and the five elements in the title are the culprits of my delay.

Lawson and Hudson's Double Trouble Party was a great success! Instructor Mason is a masochist for giving up his Saturday afternoon to herd twenty-five children into a circle and attempt to endow them with kung fu knowledge, but I'm so grateful he did. Jason let the boys rip into their gifts the second they came in from the garage, and our kitchen was a toy minefield as a result. It's with great shame I admit our kitchen was a minefield for three days. Okay, fine. It's still a minefield today.

It wouldn't be a party unless someone hurls, and Camden was happy to oblige at 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning. For the first time since we had kids, I actually choked back my own urge to barf while cleaning up after him. Cupcakes, cheese puffs, and breakfast for dinner. Enough said.

What I can only attribute to the mythical "Savannah crud," boogers are running rampant in our house. My favorite mucus moment came when Jason picked Scout up only to put his hand right on a sticky concoction that was clinging to her leg. It was epic--but only because it happened to him and not me.

It's official. I have given birth to the Duchess of Destruction who also happens to have an unusually healthy set of lungs on her. She has developed a diva-like attitude seemingly overnight, and every time her tiny little demands aren't met, we are rewarded with an ear-piercing screech of frustration. When I tell her no, she flashes a toothy little grin at me and adds an extra adorable nose wrinkle in just to throw me off my game. It looks a little something like this.
See! She even sticks that cute little tongue out. Tell me how in the world I deal with her screeches before the other five members of our family suffer partial hearing loss. I'm open to all suggestions.

And Finally, Bronchitis
Today I took Lawson in for his four-year-old checkup and mentioned a persistent cough he's been battling for two weeks.  A week ago I was told he was suffering from allergies and given samples of Allegra. Today I watched him sit in the doc's office and receive a breathing treatment right on the spot. I want to hit my head against a wall and pray to God for a break from illnesses and medical bills, but I'm just trying to be patient while my babies adjust to the new climate. It's like I told one of our favorite couples when they did us a huge favor this past weekend. I'd offer you our fifth-born child, but I already promised him/her to the pediatrician.

Disclaimer for anxious family members who follow this blog. There are no plans for a fifth child. It's just a joke. Seriously, don't freak out.

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