Today is my baby boy's fourth birthday. Lawson is our third son--in three years' time. Camden was nineteen months old, and Hudson was four months old when I saw two pink lines again. I had just gotten back to my pre-pregnancy weight and was giddy to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's weddinng. I had been in two weddings while I was enormously pregnant, once masquerading as a belted pear and once as a beaded firetruck. I had planned to look svelte and lovely in my chocolate brown dress, and now I was going to masquerade as a Hershey's Kiss--one of the giant ones you can only find on Valentine's Day.
I cried. A lot. I feared for my marriage (being a cranky, hormonal pregnant wife for two years is tough, much less for three years) and for my two little dudes (missing out on Hudson's infancy because I was huddled over a toilet puking was overwhelming to think about). In fact, I cried for five months straight, and the multi-faceted "mom guilt" nearly consumed me. I was snarky to my husband, short with my babies, and crying uncontrollably about one of the greatest blessings God can give someone.
When Lawson was born, I was still afraid. In all honesty having three boys 28 months old and under was daunting. But Lawson Charlie Jones is joy incarnate. He is the quirky, laid-back corner of the Jones boy triangle. He is my cuddle bear who will tell me he loves me out of the blue for no reason at all. He is also so stinking cute that I have to hide my giggles when his mischievous side kicks in. He embraces his stereotypical role of pesky little brother with gusto.
My three little men are best buddies who will have each other for the rest of their lives. Watching the three of them grow over the years has been an honor. They learn from each other, support each other, and laugh with each other. They also fight with typical rough and tumble boy rambunctiousness, which makes my life colorful and hilarious. I watch the three of them hover over Scout cooing and crooning to her, and I think what a lucky girl she is to have big brothers who adore her.
You see, Scout was our second surprise baby. (By now you're thinking, good grief, do something about that already.) I was scared when Scout came along, too, but I was armed with the knowledge that God doesn't make mistakes. Lawson is an incredible gift from God, and Scout is equally as amazing. Sometimes our lives are just meant to take unexpected paths that are more fulfilling than we could have ever imagined. My life is rich beyond measure because I was blindsided by the element of surprise.