Tales of a Card-Carrying Nutbag Mom, Volume 30

No one likes having to make tough decisions. Some choices for me are easy and straightforward. If I have a choice of cookies, I'll always go with chocolate chip. Hands down I feel like PBS Kids has the best TV programs for my little dudes and dudette. I choose friends by instinct and almost always make great decisions. Today, however, I made a choice that for some reason I have turned over in my mind a hundred different ways. I've counseled with members of my trusted cirlce of Savannah moms and driven my husband (and friends) certifiably insane by soliciting advice repeatedly. After all these weeks of analyzing and worrying, I finally chose to prioritize my mom instinct above and beyond any other contributing factor.

Today I chose to put in a request to change pediatricians. I know. All my friends who read today's vague Facebook status update lamenting I was worried about making a kid-related decision are probably throwing their hands up in exasperation thinking "That's it?!!" Yep, that's it. Switching doctors is something people do all the time, so why have I tortured myself? The answer is a mixture of factors. Part principle, part indignation, and part reluctance to sever a professional relationship I've spent months cultivating among a doctor, myself, and my kids. 

You see, our doc is awesome. He's the one all the moms want to see. He dotes on baby Scout, he cuts up with my little dudes, he apologizes profusely if I'm kept waiting more than fifteen minutes, and he stays after hours to see my kids if need be. Best of all he does it all with an easygoing manner that lets you know he truly loves what he does. Three weeks ago I just happened to disagree with him on how to handle Scout's next round of vaccinations.

After her previous set of shots, she had a nasty local reaction that left her unwilling to use her legs for two days. No crawling, no pulling up, and no cruising. Two of the boys had similar reactions at her age, and I'm not sure why. Maybe my kids are just weird like that. I'm certainly quirky enough to have been the culprit in passing down such a strange glitch in DNA. To treat the boys' reactions, my former pediatrician split the subsequent shots into two visits, which I requested my new doc do for Scout. He respectfully and adamantly disagreed with me, and thus I've been at a crossroads of neuroticism all this time. 

I've looked at the situation from every possible angle. Do I leave a doctor I trust and my kids adore over this one difference in opinion, or do I suck it up and let her have the shots all in one dose--even though my mommy instincts are telling me it's not what's best for my daughter? On the one hand I can respect his professional opinion and see that he's trying to do what he feels is best for his patient, but on the other I'm frustrated he doesn't put more faith in my experience with my children and work to reach a compromise we both feel comfortable with. I finally determined I couldn't let my professional respect for him trump what I feel like is the right decision for Scout.

I am by nature neurotic overly analytical, which is somewhat of a blessing because it allows me to make an extremely carefully considered decision when I need to. Even with difficult decisions like this one, I rarely look back once I finally make a choice because I know it wasn't made in haste. In the end every decision I make for my kids has to come down to what I believe is best for my them. It's my job to love them, to care for them, to guide them, and to protect them. A mom's instinct is an indisputable force of nature, and learning to fully trust your own takes time. Letting go of my worries and trusting my gut has never steered me in the wrong direction as a mom. Let your internal "mommy compass" guide you above and beyond all else, even when the decision is over something as seemingly simple as choosing a pediatrician. Because it's our jobs as parents to make a big deal over small things and be a complete nutbag for our kids when it really matters.